Problems with the funeral home
As I wrote earlier, W. never recovered from having his second leg cut off, and died on February 26th. His funeral took place several days later.
Despite providing the funeral home with a written draft of the obituary, the obituary was riddled with errors. But that wasn’t all. Only after the service was over and it was time to view the body did the funeral home get around to telling the next of kin they could not bury the body that day. According to them, the doctor had neglected to sign the death certificate. They would take care of it the next day, they promised. Nothing happened the next day, nor the next. Finally, on Tuesday the burial took place, 5 days after the funeral.
It was all a lie. The folks at the cemetery informed the family that even without a signed death certificate, the burial could have taken place as scheduled. It turns out that the funeral home had called them on the day of the funeral to say that the family had changed their minds.
I am baffled by this. What reason could they have for delaying the burial? It couldn’t have been financial, since the family had paid cash to the funeral home for an inexpensive package, and had paid the cemetery separately with a cashier’s check. If anyone out there has suffered similar problems, I would be interested in hearing what they have to say.
Alzheimer’s effect on family relationships
As these remarks from the sethedaughter blog shows Alzheimer’s has a tremendous impact on family relations.
Judge not that ye be not judged
March 12, 2008
Alzheimer’s is a painful disease both for the caregiver and the victim. As my mother’s mind began to increasingly deteriorate from the effects of Alzheimer’s, there was a marked attempt on the part of some of my family to distance themselves from her. Visits tapered off until they were non existent. Phone calls became increasingly infrequent.
My mother was excruciatingly aware of what she was losing and she was terrified. During the stage of her disease when the loss seemed beyond her ability to bear, one of my siblings called to check on her. (This was before she ceased calling altogether). When I offered to let her speak to our mother, she found a reason to get off the phone. After our mother died, I made a conscious decision to forgive my sister, but it did not prevent me from continuing to judge her.
A few years before that a favorite niece died after a prolonged period of suffering. One day she went into the hospital vital and alert. The next day after surgery, she lost the ability to ever speak again, and was put into a nursing home with tubes down her throat. It was a dreary place filled with old people resigned to a fate of increasing irrelevance and eventual death. One visit was all I was able to manage. Her health deteriorated and for the last two years of her life, she was immobilized in a hospital bed in her mother’s living room. During that entire time, I never set foot in her mother’s house.
Pharmaceuticals in our drinking water
I’ve been flirting with the idea of taking drugs to lower my cholesterol. I guess that’s not necessary now, since I may already be taking them and a host of other drugs I may or may not need.
A report out yesterday revealed that as many as 56 different drugs are showing up in some cities drinking water. The officials who manage the water systems have chosen to keep us in the dark about this problem for fear of frightening us. A better idea is to let us know what’s going on so we can hold them accountable for allowing drug contaminated water to become the norm rather than the exception.
Who will care for the elderly?
It’s becoming increasingly difficult to find younger people who are willing to work as caregivers. At the same time demand for caregivers for the elderly is expected to increase. It is projected that during the next decade demand for home health aides is expected to increase by 50%.
The proposed solution to this dilemma is healthy older adults who are retired. There is evidence that people within this group are already pitching in to help out as paid or volunteer workers.
Aging in place
A recent Los Angeles Times article reported on a program at
Park La Brea in Los Angeles, California that allows older Americans to live at home. The program is part of a movement called “aging in place.” Increasingly older Americans are resisting living out their lives in nursing homes or assistant living facilities. In response to this desire Park La Brea like some other communities has established a social network made up of a small paid staff and volunteers. This network provides the services that make it possible for the elderly in the community to remain in their home despite suffering from illness or physical decline.
